Computerized Insults

Following is an sms forward which I got describing how a digitally inclined girl would insult some rowdy boys :D

1. Saale Infinite Loop

2. Dharti pe undefined symbol

3. Pedaishi error

4. Virus ke bachche

5. Bewakuf ki hardcopy

6. Volatile Aadmi

7. Bheja blank Cd or khana gigabites

8. Itna maaroogi ki dharti se delete ho kar

yamraj se read ho kar

narak mein display ho jayega

Impressive list....

Now here is me presenting the rowdy guys retaliation

1. Nakreh to dekho jaise khud ko apple ka computer samajti hai

2. Dimag hai ya 386 processor

3. Figure hai ya mainframe ka kamra

4. Yadaash hai ya RAM, do minute mein refreshed

5. Paisa dekh kar trojan program jaise chipak jaati hai

6. Bolti itna hai jaise koi kharab recursive function ho

7. gossip ki database, afwaaon ka network

8. Tujhe floopy drive ki tarah useless nahi bana diya

toh kasam hai google ke results ki accuracy ki

mein windows os ke tarah hang ho jaoonga ceiling se

As ever guys add to either list n please don’t copy from email forwards and leave ur comments

Cheers

SMC

Friend Required , Dog Preferred!!!!

"I wanna buy a dog" said my friend cheerfully...

"Nice idea" I replied

"What breed u looking on buying?"

"A lab (as in Labrador)would ne nice, I was thinking" came, what sounded like a ready reply

"Thatz nice...if u have thought so far why not buy it"

"Ppl keep telling me its a bad idea"

"Why do ur parents hate animals"

"Arrey noooo!!! I am not gonna keep it at home...it will be in my room" meaning the place she calls home at Blore where she works.

So much for ur assumption samrtass I thought to myself.

"Now that changes things" I replied thoughtfully.

"Who will look after the dog when u r away at work & anywayz u stay in a flat...how can anyone think of having a dog in a flat?"

"Well now you know why i wasnt acting on my idea :) " she replied

"Plus will ur room mates agree" I questioned

"I dont have one currently"

"All the more reason this is not gonna happen"

"I know yaar but what to do i get so bugged alone at home"

"Why not get a roommate instead"

"Naaa...."

"Now why is that???"

"For one I am veggie gal"

I was like "nice excuse"



From then on i didnt know what to reply. I was just too busy wondering what this world come to. People now prefer DOGS to HUMANS for company....HOLY SHIT!!!! ;)

Pity her current boyfriend (if she has one) or her future husband. Just imagine whose place he is gonna take.

But as ever no blog of mine is complete without a list...so here come a few reasons why some1 (specially gals) would prefer dogs to humans as room mates

1. They always agree to what u say, or so u can believe.
2. Never interrupt u in ur gossip with its own gossip
3. U can never get jealous of its beauty…
4. It wont warn u about how much ur spending shopping
5. U can take it wherever u want, whenever u want and all in return for just a pack of biscuits.
6. It doesn’t block the phone for long and more importantly the toilet for long
7. Poops in open and u have clean up…which otherwise would be unacceptable but in this case it could serve as practice for things to come later in life ;)
8. It remains loyal to u…I mean u don’t allow it liberty enough to make other dog pals :D
9. And also it would eat whatever is given…even if its maggi over n over again…
10. It can lick of ur make up if u r feeling to lazy (had to get in the crude didn’t I, I mean I have blog name to live up to)

Well that is it guys from me….as ever leave ur comments and add to the list…

Special thanks to my unnamed colleague who was having this conversation with me from which the idea came…NO OFFENCE YAAR PLZ ;)

Cheers
SMC

Spirituality In TRAFFIC JAMS!!!!

Recently met an American who was spiritually inclined just like me and we happened to get talking. During our conversation he started to talk of the traffic situation in India in spiritual terms and I was completely amazed, horrified stunned by his view. Here is the essence of what he said…

Me and my wife had come to India last year on a spiritual tour and happened to visit places like Rishikesh, Varanasi, Haridwar etc etc. We happened to take a rickshaw ride in Varanasi and it was the most BEAUTYFULLLLL experience. There was heavy vehicle traffic on one side, there were cars and motor scooters and there were these camels there as well and this rickshaw guy was part of the whole thing moving in and out. It was so unique so beautiful. Back in the US we have one lane for the heavy vehicles one for cars and it so segregated. And this segregation comes into our lives as well.

On listening to this I was reminded of the quote I read somewhere "Man makes systems, but the divine is found in chaos". But this guy took this sentence to a whole new level.

Now with the backdrop of this conversation I thought of the following points which show the divinity in our traffic situation



1. Teaches you to be patient, biggest virtue of a seeker.
2. If you aint driving u can probably close ur eyes and meditate :D
3. Anger is injurious to health (as in this case it can lead to brawls)
4. In the eyes of the divine (red signal) all are equals
5. Enlightenment is inevitable...I mean the signal does turn green some time and no matter how far back you are u get to turn the corner sometime
6. A good guru (traffic cop) can show u the way in the chaos or bad one can lead to destruction, so choose wisely ;) .
7. Look around soak in the scenes, even the journey is joyous not just the goal.
8. Desire to compete, to race is most often the cause of casualties
9. Potholes (obstacles) can slow you down but can’t stop you
10. Knowledge of other routes never hurts instead it can give you shortcuts so respect all religions.



Well this is all I could think of. As ever please leave your comments and also add to list.

Cheers

SMC