Cheat Codes to a Better Life on Bench

To the non techie folks Bench is that dreaded 5 letter word which no techie wants to hear in general but more so in times of recession. If you are on put on bench what it essentially means is that there are no projects in the company on which you can work but you still got to show up in office and clock the required hours, hope to be allocated to a project and yes but you do get your full salary at the end of the month.

The main and only challenge of bench life is though of passing time without any work, trust me folks after the first few couple of weeks this does seem impossible. first couple of weeks you have loadsa ook to chat up with...loadsa of orkut profiles to catch up on...a bunch tiredness to get rid off and after that reality strikes and you are left counting every passing minute hoping for 5 pm to come faster.

So coming from a bench veteran here are a few tips to have a nice and peaceful extended bench life...

1. Read the same story in 2 or more papers and try to verify the facts figures in each

2. Take a pledge to try coffee from all the diff vending machines around...visit a new one everyday if not every time...

3. When u walk into a building pick an elevator and make sure u enter only that...if it comes first pick another one ;)...too bad if u r on the ground floor...

4. Learn a few new words in a technology u dont know and then go over to someone who is working on the technology and engage then in an 'intelligent discussion'

5. List out all the things that u know are wrong in ur previous proj list them out and report it so that atleast ur old mates would have work in the near future

6. Everyday morning list out 10 diff replies to the now familiar 'jibe' from friends 'so what u working on today'. Make sure u give them each a different answer like

       a. Getting ready to file a patent...

       b. working on how to propose to bill gates daughter

       c. Writing a editorial to newspaper n blah blah blah

       d. Standing for lok Shabha elections

7. Pick up sweets from people who you dont know wish them and ask them the ocassion

8. Note what each one is wearing everyday n find out how long it takes them to repeat the dress...improves u memory as well ;)

9. compose blogs like these...

10. And finally, actually do nothing at all for a while...and by nothing i mean nothing, no thinking, planning talking...nothing absolutely nothing...in other words do meditation and free urself of stress :D Atleast next time you will not utter statments like i am doing nothing at to people easily ;)

As ever guys lemme know your fav among the list and add to it

Cheers

SMC

From Gandhi TO Mahatma TO MKG

Now now now...India has another reason to celebrate. Bapus belongings are back in India...or atleast will be back in India soon enough. Is it really worth talking about or celebrating. Somehow i just hate the thought of attaching importance to objects and symbols instead of believing in the ideals MKG stood for. Isnt it really convnient we claim his legacy despite having nothing to show for it, oh no wait a minute we do have things to show for it a corrupt goverment which has more goondas in the goverment than literates, farmer suicides, naxal problems etc...

And now look at the irony of the event...A LIQUOR baron Vijay Mallya is restoring a nations dignity...A guy who has nothing to do with simple living, flaunts his style at every possible place and is selling booze which makes ppl lose there senses is restoring nations pride...

I just thought if these items would influence his psyche in what way would it show up in his work and biusiness ..herez a interesting list i could think of ;)

1. Whoever buys kingfisher would now be given a copy of the bhajan "Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram" no item songs man...
2. Booze will be served in bowl n saucer instead of mugs n glasses
3. Royal Challenger Bangalore (RCB the IPL team he owns) player Kumble would now play in round wire rime specs ; supporters would get to sport round wire rime specs to cheer there team...
4. Even better the cheer leaders would now wear only a khadi shawl n dhoti...i hope it doesnt rain for their sake :D...so will the air hostesses at kingfisher and models on F1 track
   
5. RCB bowlers will make sure if one ball goes for 6 the next one would too afterall if u r slapped u should offer the other cheek
6. His Formula 1 team flag bearer (the model who stands in fromt of the car) would use lathis instead the conventional flag posts(man now how creative is that ;)
   

And I saved the best for the last

7. His booze would now become non-violent. People who drink it would just sleep and not get into brwals.

As ever guys lemme know your fav point n also add to the list...

Cheers
SMC